The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
