How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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