Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
