U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Randomize
