I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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