whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You're earring is so big in my mouth
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
