hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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