The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize