and you said cock pushups were impossible
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
