Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
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Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
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He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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