The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize