Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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