My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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