I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
