Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
