So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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