Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
