The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
