How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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