People with herpes should wear stickers.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
