i think i have two assholes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
