I will die if light touches me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
