Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
