dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
