I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
third nipple confirmed
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
