How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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