Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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