found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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