I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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