bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
