spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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