her vagine was all disorganized.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
