It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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