If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
high people should be assigned attendants
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
