So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
