my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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