wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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