Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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