I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize