it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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