omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
