so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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