So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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