I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
