Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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