girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize