i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
