dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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