So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
