I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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