Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize