and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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