and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
