did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize