you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This is my gift to your gina
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
