Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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