Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
