There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
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