Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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