____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
