Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
