mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize