I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
