Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize