If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
